Christianne's Spiritual Journal

For The Women

As a young woman, I struggle a lot with what it really means to be a woman. In our culture nowadays, when it comes to being a woman, it’s all about appearance and looks and our sexuality. Our femininity is validated by our outward appearance. The more beautiful and sexually attractive one appears, the more womanly one is. 

I’m not going to lie. I get caught up in this worldly deceitfulness time and time again, even though I know there is no fulfillment in it. I remember being completely blinded by this notion: I would go out and spend major bills on make-up, clothes and heels and I treated other women like scores to beat. In extension of this, relationships with certain men served to validate my womanhood. I’m going to be straight. I wanted to be what a man would be proud to have as arm and eye candy—once I could reach this point, my womanhood was validated. Shallow satisfaction.

I can’t say I’m still unaffected by this wordly aspect, because I do still struggle with this. Being a woman in this time and age is hard. I still have this nagging temptation to prove and validate my being a woman by means of drawing attention to my outward appearance. But now I see how much I’ve been fooled—and knowing is half the battle. 

I was thinking about it recently, and I realize that I have been deceived by the enemy to follow the world’s standard of what it means to be a woman. Yeah, it sounds so cliche to talk about how a woman shouldn’t worry about her looks, but this isn’t one of those, “It only matters what’s on the inside, ladies!” kind of thing. This isn’t about boosting my self-esteem. This is a call to get back to the Bible.

As daughters of the Most High King, we as Christian women should look to Scripture to find out what God’s standard is of what it means to be a true woman—the kind of woman that God created us to be. I’m sick and tired of comparing myself to the world’s immoral standard of women. 

I just woke up from a long nap, so I’m all ready to go into Scripture. So first, I want to expose the worldly woman for what she is according to the Bible:

The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as a double-edge sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she does not care about the path to life. She goes down a crooked trail and doesn’t even realize where it leads.

Proverbs 5:3-6

I was looking out the window of my house one day and saw a simpleminded young man who lacked common sense. He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman. He was strolling down the path by her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. The woman approached him, dressed seductively and sly of heart. She was the brash, rebellious type who never stays at home. She is often seen in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner. She threw her arms around him and kissed him, and with a brazen look she said, “I’ve offered my sacrifices and just finished my vows. It’s you I was looking for! I came to find you, and here you are! My bed is spread with colored sheets of finest linen imported from Egypt. I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses, for my husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. He has taken a wallet full of money with him, and he won’t return until later in the month.” So she seduced him with her pretty speech. With flattery she enticed him.

Proverbs 7:6-21

I love how the Bible was completed over centuries, and yet it still hits the heart of modern day sin. This immoral woman that is described in the book of Proverbs sounds a lot like the kind of woman the world looks at nowadays: seductive in speech, manner and flattery, wild and carefree, open to sexual engagements and of course, beautiful and seductive in appearance.

This isn’t the definition of what it means to be a woman! According to the Word of the Living God, this is the definition of a sinful, immoral woman! Please tell me why I ever tried to be like her? Why do we Christian women give up our high-standing womanhood in Christ so that we can stoop down to lowly womanhood of this world?

I also wanted to point out that it’s not only the seductive look and manner of the worldly woman that makes her worldly—it is first and foremost her lack of reverence for the Lord God Almighty. “For she does not care about the path to life. She goes down a crooked trail and doesn’t even realize where it leads.”  

So now that I know what kind of woman I shouldn’t be, let’s look at the Bible again and see what kind of a woman I should be.

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. That is the way the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.

1 Peter 3:3-5

Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Proverbs 31:30

The whole of Proverbs 31 describes the kind of woman I want to be like one day: hardworking, loving, supportive, honorable, etc. It should be the go-to Bible passage every lady should go to in order to find out what characteristics make for a Noble Woman. But at this moment, I want to focus on the fact that the most obvious, biblical definition of a woman is one who loves and follows the Lord.

With just these two above passages, we see that as Christian women, we are not called to focus our energies on our outward appearance at all! The world says that it’s all about appearance, but the Word of God says it’s not about that. With God, it’s all about your heart and your mind and your intentions. The Word says a real woman has a gentle and quiet spirit which is beautiful to God, and that a real woman trusts in the Lord and has a fear of the Lord (not fear as in “I’m scared!” but fear as in, she realizes his Sovereignty in her life). The real woman knows that charm is a tool for trickery and that beauty is only temporary, so she focuses her energies and her passions instead on Who isn’t temporary: the Lord!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s wrong to look cute, because God knows I like to dress-up. But in everything I do, motives and intentions are what I need to look at. It’s always a constant examination of the heart. Why am I wearing this? What’s my purpose in this? Am I doing this to draw attention to myself?

I’ve heard from various men that women are God’s finest creations. Ha, I agree. Even as a woman, I admire the beauty of different women from different cultures and races, because women are just so beautiful! With that said, fixing yourself in such a way that demonstrates the beauty that God has given you isn’t necessarily a wrong thing; it is honoring God’s craftsmanship and enjoying the way that God has specifically created you. However, like I said before, we need to examine our hearts to see if we are doing it for this reason, or if we are trying to attain some worldly recognition by achieving some worldly standard. When you examine yourself, you will know in which way you are making yourself attractive. 

By the time I realized I was fixing myself up for the wrong reasons, I went cold-turkey on the make-up and beautification. To be honest, although I am feminine in the sense that I enjoy a good dress-up day, I have become very cautious and sparring during these days so that I don’t get caught back up into the world’s standards. That, and I refuse to have lingering pride issues re-surface again. 

But back to the subject. It is either God’s standard of a woman, or the world’s standard of a woman that you can follow. As for myself, it is far better to be God’s definition of a woman. 

It’s going to be hard, though. The world holds no value for the godly woman. They don’t care about her. They feel that she is a conservative prude who doesn’t know how to have fun; she’s a homebody, a Bible thumper and a Jesus freak. It’s hard to become the kind of Woman the Lord calls for in a world that holds no value for it, and it’s so much easier to just stoop down to the lower level in order to gain acceptance and attention. I myself have fallen in this way, and I have seen many Sisters fall in this aspect, as well. 

I hated being judged by others for trying to be the godly woman that the Bible speaks so highly of. But then I asked myself, why should I care about what others think?

I thought I wanted to be this curvaceous, sexy, party-going, clubbing, drinking, dancing and flirtatious woman many times in my life, even recently. But then I realized, this wasn’t me, but the sin in me.

I belong to Jesus Christ. I’m one of God’s Elect, predestined from even before the world was created to be in Him. I’m a daughter of the Most High King, a co-heir with Christ. I’m called to be a Woman much higher than the standards of this world, because I represent someone far greater than myself.. as such, I am going to act like a real Woman and stop acting like a little girl.

I felt that I needed to write this out, because it put my mind in the correct place after having recently been struggling with what it really means to be a woman. I’ve been putting myself back in an old place in my life, and I forgot what the Bible had said in regards to this. I love the Lord for always shedding light on the dark areas of my life.. people who say the Bible is irrelevant to every day life haven’t yet seen it’s remarkable and consistent parallelism to the here and now.  

I might feel inadequate in the world, but in Christ, I feel that I am a growing woman and I am proud of myself for this fact. I’m proud that I have chosen to excel in biblical womanhood whereas others have chosen worldly womanhood. I only pray that I seek the Lord more and that I love the Lord more with every day that passes by. I hope to impart this truth to other young women in my life, as well. The enemy is so tricky.. but the Word is like a light piercing through the darkness—it never fails. I have a strong and powerful God. 

So excited for my current and future ministry to young women. 

Ahhhhhhhh, I feel good. Feels so good to be soaked in the Word again. Sin is the equivalent of death in all aspects. Sin kills desire, movement, growth, relationships, insights and health, whereas Christ brings all of it and more. 

Kansas in a week! Goodnight.