“The truth about the truth about the Truth”
I just got home from a 12-hour orientation at Denny’s; it’s already 2AM and I’m pooped, but this has really been on my heart for the last couple of days. I’ve been reading an amazing book called Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand and I have to say this is one of those books that I can feel is going to change the way I look at things; it’s going to change my life in regards to how I treat the Bible and how I see Jesus Christ. Actually, it already has.
Pastor Richard Wurmbrand had written this piece in three days sometime after his release from Communist prisons in Romania. His crime was being a Christian—sharing the Good News to Russians and the Romanians, smuggling illegal Bibles and Christian literature throughout the Communist cities, working through the Underground Church, etc. I’m not nearly done with the book, but my heart and my very soul has been touched by the sheer endurance, courage, love and strength that Christians in captive nations have demonstrated and continue to demonstrate even as I sit here safe and warm in my chair writing about them.
This book tells of horrible tortures Christians must suffer under literal persection of the world, Wurmbrand’s frustration with Western Christianity and our somewhat-true lack of “love” toward our persectued brothers and sisters in the world, and a devout love to Jesus Christ demonstrated through the martyr’s suffering.
Before reading the little portion I have of this book, I would always pray for my persecuted brothers and sisters around the world who I knew were suffering for Jesus’ namesake. I would pray for safety if possible, for their endurance and courage. It was more a fact to me than a reality though that there were Christians who suffered and died because of what they were. The reality of it just didn’t hit me. But now, reading about it from the perspective of a Pastor who was tortured and beaten, living a life of secrecy and living every day in fear of being caught and killed? Reading about how he and his fellow Christian prisonmates and Underground Church members treasured every Bible they could get their hands on? Reading about how they would risk their lives speaking on the corner of a Communist street just for the chance to win over one man or woman to the Lord? These Christians live daily for the Lord in such a way that I will probably never understand.
And I am ashamed of myself.
I cannot believe that I have the nerve to complain about my life, how I don’t feel pretty enough, how I wish I had the best clothes and the prettiest skin, how I wish I had the perfect man to love and to love me back, how I wish I didn’t have to drive my sister back and forth from school! I can’t believe I don’t even have the nerve sometimes to tell my own friends about Jesus Christ and what He is to me as Christi Anne Agbuya; I can’t even tell my own family about Him sometimes!
I complain about the stupidest things; the most superficial and shallow things! I care too much about what people think about me when it comes to Jesus Christ and I complain about pimples and drama, yet I look at Richard Wurmbrand and I look at my brothers and sisters out there in these captive nations who, even though faced with death every single day for refusing to denounce the name of Christ, would probably look at my circumstances and relish the opportunity to spread His name so freely.
Oh God, I just ask for forgiveness for my complacency.
I am so extremely blessed to be where I am now. So many times I read my Bible, and then many more times I decide to go out with friends or sleep or watch television, shunning my Word and pushing it to the side. I’m so lazy, and yet I realize after reading some of this book that my persecuted brothers and sisters would literally die to be able to take hold of these Holy Scriptures. So many times I come across people in my freedom who don’t know the Lord, and yet I’m so afraid of what they think of me and being rejected that I hold my tongue and let the opportunity pass. My brothers and sisters, faced with the possibility of death or imprisonment and torture, speak the Gospel with every single opportunity they get.
I’ve never been so ashamed of myself in my life, except in the times of my life where I’ve sinned the greatest.
And doubly so, when Pastor Richard Wurmbrand talks about his Communist torturers, he speaks no evil of them. He speaks of his love for them and how he continues to pray for them and their salvation, and how he still hopes to witness to them. I’m going to be honest, when I first read of Communist tortures on Christians, I had anger brewing in my heart. Bitterness even, that they were killing one of my own. I wasn’t the one getting tortured, and yet I was already brimming with hatred—Wurmbrand and others were being horrendously tortured, and yet they responded in love.
What?! But, how? Oh Lord, how? Even as a Christian, I gasped. For myself, loving my enemies just means being polite to my messed-up ex. But for them, it’s praying and truly loving those who had beat them and burned them with hot iron. To be honest, I thought this guy just wrote that to make himself look good. There is no way that he could have meant that.
And then he said something that really hit me bigtime, and that struck my heart fast:
God is “the Truth.” The Bible is the “truth about the Truth.” Theology is the “truth about the truth about the Truth.” Christian people live in these many truths about the Truth, and, because of them, have not “the Truth.” Hungry, beaten, and drugged, we had forgotten theology and the Bible. We had forgotten the “truths about the Truth,” therefore we lived in “the Truth.” It is written, “The Son of man is coming at an hour when you do not expect Him” (Matthew 24:44). We could not think anymore. In our darkest hours of torture, the Son of Man came to us, making the prison walls shine like diamonds and filling the cells with light.
During the time I was reading, I actually wondered if they really remembered all of the Scriptures since nothing was allowed in the prisons. I wondered how they could hold their Bible studies (to be beat afterwards), how they could encourage each other and remind themselves in Scripture to love their enemies if they didn’t have the Bible, and then he wrote this.
I’m so guilty of focusing so much on Theology and the Bible that I completely forget about the Truth at times. I’m just going to be honest. My God, it is such a convicting passage. I think as Christians, we oftentimes focus too much on the privilege of our Word rather than the Word. Sometimes I think, where would Christianity be without the Bible? Sometimes I think, what would I do without my Bible? I lost my Bible last week after I left it in the church auditorium, and I was freaking out. I had other Bibles at home to read, but I thought, “That’s my Bible. I need my Bible!” I found it, and as Christians in the West, I realize we are blessed with the privilege of being able to read it openly and to go to church and have Bible studies, among other things. But after reading the above passage, I wonder how my life would be like if I did not have access to such a treasure. Would I have endured fourteen long years and Wurmbrandt did?
Would I then be focused on “the Truth” instead of “the truth about the truth about the Truth?” For Wurmbrandt to say such a beautiful thing even in the midst of the worst possible situation he could ever be in (besides Hell, of course) really touched my heart. I had never looked at it in such a way—that Jesus Christ was literally enough by Himself.
Because of the safe environment I was raised in and because I grew up in the church, I admit that a lot of the Bible is very natural to me. I accepted Christian Truth growing up without skepticism, even though now as a young woman I have had the opportunity to research and understand why I believe what I believe. So hearing that Jesus Christ is all I need, that Jesus Christ is enough, is not new to me. I know He is. But after reading this, I realize with my whole heart that oh God, Jesus Christ really is enough. Even if everything is stripped away from me, even if I’m in the face of death, even without the Holy Scriptures themselves, Jesus Christ is enough.
And there goes the paradox of the Christian faith again. In order to be the leader, you must be a servant. In order to be the strongest, you must be the weakest. In order to be high, you must be low. Pastor Wurmbrandt and our persecuted brothers and sisters were and are currently at their lowest, tortured and beaten and bruised, yet they have the best understanding of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for us; they have the best understanding of His love and His kindness and His mercy and His forgiveness, and they demonstrate so much Christlike character that it shames me, because I don’t understand even a portion of what they do.
I am torn between feeling blessed and feeling envious and discouraged because of my fading faith in comparison. However, I don’t think being a Western Christian should be held against me because of my freedom and “no opportunies to suffer to prove my faith”; rather, I believe one reason God allows those to suffer for His namesake is to be an encouragement to Western Christianity to pursue Him with full hearts in our freedom. It is to show us examples of those who have given their lives to the Lord; those who are dedicated to Him fully. I am at present very blessed and thankful to be in a safe country with no such persecutions besides verbally and socially (which, in comparison to real persecution, is child’s play)! I would think God doesn’t compare my love for Him to one who is suffering in their love for Him, because I would obviously lose.. rather, in the situation I am placed in, I am expected to love Him, serve Him, know Him and let others know Him as best as I can with however much (Western Christians) or however little (Persecuted Christians) I am given.
I think this teaches me much when it comes to being faithful to the Lord, truly being thankful for what I have and knowing Him fully to the best of my human capabilities.
This brings Romans 5:1-5 in such a new light for me, and it’s so beautiful:
Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
I admire them so much. Jesus Christ is my Saviour and King and my Best Friend. Not to say He isn’t my role model, because He is! But He is God, you know? Of course He’d be the role model. But I’m a lowly human being, and when I see these other human beings giving their lives completely to the Lord, they show me that it is possible to truly have a heart and a love for God that even death cannot quench it. They are my role models in the way that I want to “live” my life for the Lord.
This book is just chock-full of messages waiting to happen. I have so much more to write about other specific areas of this book, but I will save it for another day. Today was just my initial reaction to such an amazing book and testimony, and to a passage that I was particularly inspired by. Tomorrow, I hope to speak about my thoughts toward Gospel-centered messages.
Paul Washer and this book have had a huge impact on my life so far, although I hope they do not take the place of Jesus Christ. In fact, these speakers and writers have actually served to help me recognize my diverted focus off of Christ and onto other things, and although there is an intial sadness that happens when you are faced with your lack of love for Him, there is joy in that my heart has changed and os moving closer to the Lord from hereon out.
I’m so glad I took the time to write this. I realize that I have a passion for the Underground Church. I have always had an interest in smuggled Bibles, helping those who are suffering as Christians, etc. and after reading some of Tortured For Christ and recieving Voice of the Martyrs newsletter, I’ve decided I’m going to tithe my offering to them every month. I pray that my money goes a long way in aiding their missions, their providing of Bibles and Christians literature, and their living necessities.
Haha, I know I sound serious whenever I write about my Bible stuff, but these times of in-depth study and Bible reading are huge to me. It’s my time to be open to what God wants me to discover about Him that day, and I learn so much and I feel so refreshed, and it’s just my time of worship. I know I’m not singing and I’m not exactly praying, but as a reader, when I discover new things, or historical things, or greek/hebrew word translations, I get excited and I grow in awe of His Word and His sacrifice time after time after time; and if that’s not worship, then I don’t know what is.
But it’s time to hit the sack now! I need rest and I need to study my Denny’s menu tomorrow, which is going to be a lot of work. I have so many blessings in my life. Thank you Lord!
Goodnight. :)
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