Christianne's Spiritual Journal

How To Get A Man

I was going to do a bit on the book of Mark, but I thought that I was rushing it and I didn’t want to rush my observations, so I’ll save it for tomorrow! But right now I wanted to post up an excerpt from Lady In Waiting that I think really challenged me after I read it.

Elisabeth Elliot says she is often asked the question, “What can I do to get him to notice me?” Note carefully the advice she gives.

“My answer is ‘nothing.’ That is, nothing toward the man.

“Don’t call him. Don’t write a little note with a smiley face or a flower or fish under the signature and put it in his campus mailbox. Don’t slide up to him in the hall and gasp, ‘I’ve just got to talk to you!’ Don’t look woebegone, don’t ignore him, don’t pursue him, don’t do him favors, don’t talk about him to nine carefully selected listeners.

“There is one thing you can do: turn the whole business over to God. If he’s the man God has for you, ‘No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly’ (Ps. 84:11). Direct your energies to obedience, not to nailing the man. God has His own methods of getting the two of you together. He doesn’t need any help or advice from you.”

Notice the word nothing. Maybe this little dose of reality will help you constantly check your motives whenever relating to a guy.

Totally got convicted right after reading this little portion right here.

Hahaa, don’t get me wrong! I like doing nice things for guys I’m interested in, but she does have a point. Where do my motives lie? Do I really do these things to show a kind gesture or is there an underlying motive of trying to take the situation into my own hands? It’s like saying, “Well God is in control, but just in case..”

Totally guilty of it!

And most importantly.. Do I give God the same energy that I give to this man right here? If the answer is No, then it’s time get yourself back on track. I have to admit that time and time again I’ve failed God in this regard, but He always takes me back like I never wandered away in the first place. It’s amazing. I don’t know about other girls, but as for myself I find it very difficult to trust God in my relationship life and I often feel the need to rip the reigns away from His Sovereignty and make things flow on my own.. why? As if my plans were actually better than His!

But you know what? God always keeps His promises, and out of my impatience I’ve tried to make those promises happen faster, only to watch things crash and burn around me. If He says that He won’t hold back something good from someone who follows His Word and His ways, then I’m going to trust Him. It’s only when we start trusting our finite selves that we fall into that which we were originally trying to avoid. Trust me, I know.

So ladies! God really doesn’t need our help to orchestrate this fantastic love story with that fine-looking boy we’re trying to get at. Just let it be! It’s like you telling Steven Spielberg how to direct a movie—it’s ridiculous. Let’s stop trying to make it happen and let God make it happen. And like I said, there is nothing wrong with doing nice things for someone, but again, it’s all about the motives of the heart. God sees our intentions and our thoughts.

And if anything, always give it to God. You might be living a righteous life, but the Enemy wants to distract you away from your Word and your Prayer time—believe it or not, even that Christian man can serve as a major distraction.. it’s not the time to be throwing your all on a man, rather, it’s the time to throw your all on Jesus Christ. Watch out for the Enemy! This fool is sly. It makes me sad that I sometimes do not give as much to the Lord as I do to particular interests at the time. So it’s not so much praying for the man’s well-being and his part in your life as it is for praying for protection against distraction and a clouded mind. Keep your minds clear for the Lord!

As such, I’m just focusing on being obedient to the Lord, delving into my Word and being faithful in prayer and in other things. It’s haaaaard stuff, don’t get me wrong. As a girl coming out of this habit of doing-to-attain, it doesn’t always help my goals of patience and faith, but I also remember that His grace is sufficient for me, for in my weakness His power is perfected. I’m working on trusting Him with my entire heart and I’m working off those faulty motives and unneccessary distractions. God will do all the hard work. All I need to do is just wait, and do nothing.

Besides.. it’s about time those boys started pursuing us. The Bible says, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing,” not “She that finds a husband finds a good thing.” Uh, that’s your job buddy, not mine. Just sayin’. Hahaah!

Goodnight. :)