Diet of Worms 1521
“Almighty, eternal God. What a contemptable thing this world is, yet how it causes men to gape and stare at it. How small and slight is the trust of men in God. How frail and sensitive is the flesh of men, and the devil so powerful and active through his apostles and the wise of the world. How soon men become disheartened and hurry on running the common course; the broad way to hell where the godless belong. Their gaze is fixed on them. What a splendid and powerful, great and mighty! If I too were to turn my eyes to such things I would be undone. The verdict would already have been passed against me. And the bell that is to toll my doom would already have been cast. O God! O God! O thou, my God! My God! Help me against the reason and wisdom of all the world! Do this, thou must do it! Thou alone, for this cause is not mine, but thine. For myself, I have no business here with these great lords of the world. Indeed, I too desire to enjoy days of peace and quiet and to be undisturbed, but thine O Lord is this cause and it is righteous and of eternal importance. Stand by me thou faithful, eternal God. I rely on no man; futile and vain is all lame and halting, all that is carnal and smacks of the flesh. God, O God! Dost thou not hear me, my God? Art thou dead? Nay, thou canst not die. Thou art merely hiding myself. Hast thou chosen me for this task? I ask thee. I am sure thou hast. Well so. Let it be then. Thy will be done, for never in my life did I intend to oppose such great lords; never have I resolved to do this. Oh God, stand by me in the name of thy dear son, Jesus Christ, who shall be my protector and defender. Yay, my mighty fortress through the might and the strengthening of thy Holy Spirit. Lord, where tariest thou? Oh thou my God, where art thou? Come, o come! I am ready to lay down my life for this cause, meek as a lamb, for the cause is righteous and it is thine. I will not seperate myself from thee forever. Be that decision made, in thy name. The world must leave my conscience unconquered even though it were full of devils and though my body, the work and creation of thy hands, should be utterly ruined. But thy Word and Spirit are a good compensation to me; and after all, only the body is concerned. The soul is thine, and belongs to thee, and with thee it will remain eternally. Amen. God help me. Amen.”
—Martin Luther
So I first heard this piece during a really crazy time in my life. I was just coming out of bad break-up, I found out I wasn’t doing as well as I was spiritually, I got rebuked and corrected by my mentor and Pastor, and I was relieved of all leadership roles at the church for the time being in order to get my heart back on track for the Lord. In the midst of all this, I felt lost and confused. I hated not being involved at church, and I didn’t understand how not serving was supposedly going to help me see where I stood in Christ. I harbored so much anger and bitterness toward the church and toward my leaders, you don’t even understand. I took this home with me and I resented life, relationships, even waking up in the morning; bedtime was the best thing to look forward to just because it yeilded no room for thinking.
I was in a place where I felt unworthy before God, bitter before Him, angry before Him, avoiding church; yet I was also in a state where I refused to give into my rebellious feelings through partying, clubbing or drinking. I was stuck in an in-between, where I did not fit in with God and I did not fit in with the world. It was just a period of inactivity and really just focusing on myself: what I needed and what God was wanting to do in my life. Looking back on it, this was an amazing time for me. It was only because I had hit rock bottom that I had truly begun to depend on the Lord; to trust in Him. I began to know what it meant for me to need a Savior, in a way that I could not ever begin to comprehend before.
As I began to start walking onto the right path, I happened upon this piece by Martin Luther. It’s funny, because I did not intend to watch it on YouTube. I think I was going for the Vampire Diaries or some other show, but instead I decided to check his famous speech before doing my own thing.
It was all God. I knew God used this “random” moment of a mouse click to open up my heart.
Martin Luther wrote this diary passage, if you want to call it that, right before he was to challenge many rulers and princes about Roman Catholicism (and because he did, it would result in Christianity as we know it!). Of course he would be afraid! And I felt so strongly as the narrator read his thoughts; I felt as if these were words I had been hiding in my heart for many months. I bolded that which I felt strongly to, and ever since reading what this man of God had written hundreds of years ago, my perspective has been completely changed. My whole spirit had such a renewal of strength and I can’t believe I cried, but I did. It touched me, for some odd reason.
He struggles with the world, and he knows that if it were not for God he would have been succumbing to the world at his own peril. He doubts God for a second, and then comes back to his senses. He realizes that although he is just a frail human being, God has chosen him to do something significant in his life, even thought Luther himself does not think himself worthy.
And during the time I read this, I was struggling so much with Purpose. I constantly wondered why I still felt a prompting toward the Lord even after my mistakes were made known. I was confused because even at rock bottom, I still had a desire to pursue righteousness. I didn’t know why I still had this feeling like I was meant to do something more in this life for the name of Jesus Christ. What a feeling. Bold. A little too bold. Maybe not for me. And yet, even with nothing left to offer, I would still have given whatever else I had left of my life at that time, to the Lord.
So when I heard this, I realized that I was meant for more than this mess I was in. I was not going to mope and cry and pity myself. I was going to move forward because of the grace of Christ, only because of His grace, and do what He has called me to do, even though I didn’t feel worthy of it. And I prayed right after that piece and Martin Luther’s famous “Here I Stand” speech, and that’s where my life took off.
I’m still working out things from my past to this day, but today, I am more whole than I was a few months ago. Through these trials in my life, I have learned to embrace them because they keep me dependent on the Lord God Almighty, they keep my heart and eyes focused on Him. My trials remind me that I am saved because of a Savior. I am forever thankful for this time in my life, for being out of leadership especially, because it gave me a chance to really grow. I do feel a strain many times however, because I want to head back into my regular positions, but it’s all a matter of time. I know God will give me responsibilites once He sees growth in my character and heart and love for Him.
Anyhoo, I wrote all long! Just wanted to say Happy Reformation Day! Especially because this is one letter that really changed my perspective, and it’s a beautiful note of dependence upon the Lord, giving your all to Him and realizing the calling on your life, among other things.
Goodnight. :)
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